Joke 05 Funny Jokes
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Short Mississippi Jokes
Q. what is the distinction between a University of Southern Mississippi gild sister and a scarecrow?A. One lives during a field and is filled with fodder. the opposite frightens birds and tiny animals.
Q. What will a Mississippi Rebel do on Halloween?
A. Pump kin!
Q: What has four eyes however cannot see?
A: Mississippi
Q. Why do ducks fly over Mississippi upper side down?
A. there is nothing value craping on!
Q. however does one apprehend the toothbrush was unreal in Mississippi?
A. If it had been unreal anyplace else, it'd are referred to as a teethbrush.
Q: Did you hear that the governor's mansion in Mississippi burned down?
A: virtually took out the complete trailer camp.
Q: what is the most well liked acquire line in Mississippi?
A: Nice tooth!
Q: Why ar there such a large amount of unresolved murders in Mississippi?
A: There aren't any dental records and everybody has identical deoxyribonucleic acid
Q: Why do people from Mississippi attend the movies in teams of eighteen or more?
A: seventeen and underneath aren't admitted.
Q: Why did Forrest Gump select 'Bama over Mississippi?
A: He wished an instructional challenge!
Q: What will a Bulldog grad decision a Runnin Rebel in five years?
A: Boss!
I'm not expression Runnin Rebels basketball players ar dumb, however the coach is dressing six players for this Saturdays game.
The rest can dress themselves.
Q: Why is "The Wave" illegal in Davis Wade Stadium?
A: 2 Bulldogs fans sunken last year.
Q: Why did the Mississippi regents arrange to cowl Vaught-Hemingway structure in cardboard?
A: as a result of the Rebels invariably look higher on paper.
Q: What happens once blondes move from Alabama to Mississippi?
A: each states become smarter!
Q: Why are not Southern Miss cheerleaders allowed to try and do the splits?
A: They continue the bottom.
Q: Why do all the trees in Alabama lean west?
A: Mississippi Sucks
Q: What will a woman from Mississippi do if she's not in bed by 10pm?
A: Go Home.
Q: Why do Rebels basketball players use body heat activated deodorant?
A: as a result of it is the closet they're going to come back to obtaining a "Degree".
Q: Why do Southern Miss students have such lovely noses?
A: they are hand picked.
Q: Why did Ole Miss disband its athletic game team?
A: All the horses sunken .
Q: what is the distinction between a Southern Miss credentials and bathroom paper?
A: regarding $80,000 per sheet.
Q: What will it say on the rear of each Mississippi seashore junior college diploma?
A: can Work For Food.
Q: Why did the Mississippi seashore junior college grad cross the road?
A: higher question why is he out of jail?
Q: however will a dumb blonde get into college?
A: She applies to Southern Miss.
Q: Why ought to the Mississippi State Bulldogs amendment their uniforms to Orange?
A: so that they will play the sport, direct traffic, and acquire trash while not dynamic .
Q: what is the one issue that keeps Rebels basketball players from graduating?
A: reaching to category.
Q: Why did the Southern Miss squad cross the road?
A: as a result of it had been easier than crossing the line.
Q: however could be a Hattiesburg lady completely different from a bowling ball?
A: typically a ball is tough to choose up.
Q: What do Runnin Rebels grads use for Birth Control?
A: Their personalities.
Q: however does one break a Southern Miss' grads finger?
A: Punch him within the nose.
Q: however does one get a Bulldogs fan to laugh all weekend long?
A: Tell him a joke weekday morning.
Q: Why do Southern Miss fans smell therefore bad?
A: therefore blind folks will hate them too.
Q: Why did Ole Miss amendment their field from grass to artificial turf?
A: to stay the Rebels cheerleaders from grazing the sector at break.
Q: Did you hear that nine out of ten coeds ar smart looking?
A: the opposite one goes to Southern Miss.
Q: Whats the distinction between Oxford, MS and yogurt?
A: food has a vigorous living culture.
Q: Why do the Mississippi State Bulldogs eat cereal straight from the box?
A: They choke whenever they get close to a bowl.
Q: what is the distinction between Vaught-Hemingway structure and a cactus?
A: The succulent has its pricks on the surface.
Q: What separates a decent team from a good team?
A: The Mississippi-Alabama border.
Q: however does one confuse a Southern Miss student?
A: you cannot they were born that approach.
Q: however does one get from Tuscaloosa, Alabama to Oxford, Mississippi?
A: Go west till you smell shit and north till you step in it.
Q: what is going to you ne'er hear a Southern Miss grad say?
A: "I have reviewed your application......"
Q: Why could not the baby Savior turn in Mississippi?
A: as a result of they could not notice three wise men or a virgin.
Q: Why did Mississippi raise the minimum eld to 25?
A: They wished to stay alcohol out of the high schools!
Q: however are you able to tell if somebody in Mississippi is married?
A: The tobacco spit stains ar on each side of his motortruck.
Q: Why do Mississippi State grads keep their diplomas on their dashboards?
A: so that they will park in handicap areas.
Q: What does one decision a decent wanting lady on the University of Southern Mississippi campus?
A: A traveler.
Q: Did you hear regarding the ability outage at the Mississippi State University library?
A: Thirty students were stuck on the escalator for 3 hours.
Q: Did you hear regarding the fireplace in University of Mississippi's soccer hall that destroyed twenty books?
A: the important tragedy was that fifteen hadn't been coloured nevertheless.
Q: What will the common University of Southern Mississippi student get on his SAT?
A: Drool.
Q: what number University of Southern Mississippi freshman will it go for amendment a lightweight bulb?
A: None, it is a sophomore course.
Q: however does one create University of Mississippi cookies?
A: place them during a massive Bowl and beat for three hours.
Q: If you've got a automotive containing a Rebels wide receiver, a Rebels linebacker, and a Rebels defensive back, UN agency is driving the car?
A: The cop.
Q: what's the definition of sex down in Mississippi?
A: inserting signs on the animals that kick.
Q: however does one casterate a Mississippi Rebels fan?
A: Kick his sister within the mouth
Q: Whats the distinction between the Mississippi Rebels and cheerios?
A: One belongs during a bowl. the opposite doesn't!
Q: Why do Mississippi students have TGIF on their shoes?
A: Toes get into First!
Q. What does one get once you drive quickly through the Mississippi Rebels campus?
A. AN college man degree.
Q: what's twenty feet long and has five teeth?
A: The funnel cake line at the Mississippi state honest.
Q: Why ar body part thermometers illegal at the University of Mississippi?
A: They cause an excessive amount of brain damage!
Q: What must you do if you discover 3 University Of Mississippi soccer fans buried up to their neck in cement?
A: Get additional cement.
Q: what is the distinction between AN Mississippi Rebels fan and a carp?
A: One could be a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and therefore the alternative could be a fish.
Q. Why do they sell such a large amount of button-fly jeans in Mississippi?
A. as a result of the sheep will hear the zippers a mile away.
Q. however did the Mississippi State Bulldog die from drinking milk?
A. The cow fell on him!
Q: what's the definition of a Mississippi virgin?
A: an unpleasant twelve year recent UN agency will run her brothers..
Q: What do they decision students UN agency attend Mississippi State?
A: Rejects from University of Mississippi!
Q: What will a Mississippi Rebels fan do once his team has won the BCS championship?
A: He turns off the PlayStation three.
Q: What does one decision AN Mississippi Rebels during a BCS bowl game?
A: A referee.
Q: What do Mississippi and Mississippi State students have in common?
A: They each came to Mississippi State
Q: what is the distinction between AN Mississippi jock and a dollar?
A: you'll be able to get four quarters out of a greenback.
Q: Did you hear that Mississippi's squad does not have a website?
A: they cannot string 3 "Ws" along.
Q: what number Mississippi Rebelss will it go for amendment a lightbulb?
A: None. volcanic rock lamps do not blow man!
Q: What ar the most effective four years of a Mississippi Rebelss life?
Q: What will Justin Bieber have in common with the Mississippi river?
A: They each have beavers stuck up there dirty rivers.
Q: What will a Mississippi native and a bottle of brewage have in common?
A: they are each empty from the neck up.
Q: What do tornadoes and graduates from the University of Mississippi have in common?
A: They each find yourself in trailer parks.
Q: What do the University of Mississippi and pot have in common?
A: They each get smoke-dried in bowls!
Q. however do they separate the boys from the boys in Mississippi?
A. With a restraining order.
Q. what is the very first thing AN Mississippi lady will once she wakes up within the morning?
A. Walks home.
Q: What does one decision AN Mississippi Rebels jock with a championship ring?
A: A thief!
Q: what's a Rebels fan's favorite whine?
A: "We cannot beat Alabama."
Q: Why will a Rebels fan pour his cereal on a plate?
A: He lost his bowls.
Q: however does one stop AN Mississippi fan from beating his wife?
A: Dress her in Alabama Crimson!
Q: What did the Mississippi feminine say once sex?
A: Get off ME begetter, you are crushing my smokes!
Q: what's th distinction between a bucket of shit and a Rebels fan?
A: The bucket.
Q: Why do they not serve ice in drinks at Rebels games anymore?
A: the coed UN agency knew the instruction graduated
Q: Why do not ladies play hide and look for in Mississippi?
A: nobody would rummage around for them.
Elevator
A country hick family from Mississippi decides to travel to the massive Apple for the primary Time in their lives; rima oris, Paw and their son.They go into the Empire State Building. As they are walking around they notice the elevator.
Never seeing one before they fill in front of it lost.
While watching it, AN married woman during a chair rolls up thereto, pushes the button, the door opens, she rolls herself within and therefore the door closes.
The Mississippi cracker family watches because the lightweights for every floor light because it goes up. They still watch because the numbers go down once more.
The door opens and out walks this tall attractive blonde. Legs to her neck. nice figure. Beautiful!
Paw appearance at his son and says, "Quick boy, shove yer rima oris in there!"
Falling soft on
A man fell soft on with the lady of his dreams. They were good for every alternative, apart from one minor problem: She was AN LSU Tigers fan ANd he was an Alabama Crimson Tide fan. He set to create the final word sacrifice and become a LSU Tigers fan.He visited the doctor and asked if there was a straightforward thanks to try this. The doctor replied, "Yes, it is a terribly straightforward procedure. What we tend to do is get into and take away 0.5 your brain. once you come to life, you may be a LSU Tigers fan."
The man agrees, and therefore the next week goes into surgery. once he wakes up the doctor comes up to him involved. "Sir, I apologize, however there was a error with the surgical knife. rather than removing 0.5 your brain we tend to removed 3/4 of it. however does one feel?"
The man weekday up, looked around, and aforementioned "GO RebelsS!"
Sheep congress
An Arkansas Razorbacks fan and a Ole Miss fan were driving on once all of a sharp the Arkansas fan slams on the brakes.There was a sheep together with her head stuck within the fence and therefore the Arkansas fan aforementioned "We Razorbacks ne'er pass up a chance like this!" And he gets out and has his approach with the sheep.
Then he says to the Ole Miss fan, "Your turn"...
And the Rebelss fan bends over and sticks his head within the fence.
Cemetary
One Day This child And His female parent Were Walking Past A graveyard after they Past A Grave and therefore the child Stopped To browse It.He browse Aloud "Here Lies A Mississippi Graduate And a good Man."
The Kid Then Says "Mom I Dont tumble."
The female parent Says "Why Not?"
The Kid Says "Why ar there two folks Burried here?"
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